Gwyneth Paltrow’s Ridiculous Holiday Gift Guides Have Dropped

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Gwyneth Paltrow’s luxury lifestyle and “wellness” website has dropped this year’s installment of their annual holiday gift guides, and you don’t want to miss what made the cut.

You’re not going to believe some of the odd suggestions that she thinks your friends and family need this season.

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Gwyneth’s Luxury Lifestyle Website, Goop

Gwyneth launched Goop in 2008, which first began as her weekly newsletter of rich-people frivolities. It has since morphed into her  lifestyle brand, which Gwyneth uses to hawk $15,000 vibrators and share uncertain health advice that goes way beyond taking your vitamins.

Her guidance is sometimes bizarre, like when she raved about egg-shaped jade stones that you’re supposed to put inside your, um, lady parts. You know, to help balance your hormones.

It’s also occasionally tone-deaf, like when Goop published a guide to spirit animals. To really double down on how questionable it already was, the guide was also used as an opportunity to sell $2,800 “spirit animal” rings that Gwyneth co-created with a jeweler.

And, don’t forget about when she pushed a “surprisingly affordable yacht rental service” which sails “everywhere from the British Virgin Islands to the Adriatic Sea to Ko Phuket.” Just grab a few friends to split the fare and take off for a week.

Goop’s Annual Holiday Gift Guides Have Arrived

Every year, those sometimes bizarre and tone-deaf suggestions find their way into Goop’s annual holiday gift guides, and this year’s list does not disappoint. Even Goop itself admits that there are plenty of “ridiculous” gift suggestions.

So, check out the “fruits of an entire year’s worth” of Goop’s “gift-researching labor.” Here are some of the over-the-top suggestions that Goop suggests you buy for your mom, your best friends, or your kids this year.

Toilet Paper ‘With a Conscience”

I think that’s another way of saying “expensive.” This toilet paper is made of 100% sustainable bamboo (is that flushable?), but even so, I’m not sure anyone on my shopping list wants a pack of toilet paper for the holidays, even the fancy $34 kind. It does come in “chic dark floral packaging,” though.

This Classic Kids Game For Only $1,500

I know you can walk into a Walmart and pick up the classic game Connect Four for less than $10, but that’s not chic. If you want to be like our pal Gwyneth, Goop suggests the Four in a Row Wonderstone Marble Set from Edie Parker that costs a mere $1,495. This fancy game has gone “from family camp to yacht cabin.”

Safety Second With a “Luxe” Fire Extinguisher

I was completely unaware that there is such a thing as a luxury extinguisher. When you have more than just safety in mind when purchasing a fire extinguisher, Goop has exactly what you’re looking for. For a cool $250, you can pick up the Luxe Fire Extinguisher from Safe-T. It comes in brass, copper, or chrome.

To be fair, these are just the slightly odd choices that made the list. Goop’s holiday gift guides do, in fact, have some fun and reasonably-priced items.

In case you want to check the curated lists yourself, you can find them here on Goop.